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imikimi - Customize Your World
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My Name is Dee Spessard-Myers I am The Proud Momma of a Beautiful Daughter Ashley and I am a PROUD GRAMMY of Justice Christopher Born August 16, 2006 and William M.G. Brown Jr. (LUCKY)born September 5, 2008.
I lost My 4 1/2 month old Grandson Justice Christopher on January 6, 2007 at the hands of Floyd Edward Bingaman III (BING). He is now serving a 30 year sentence at Eastern Correctional Institution in Westover, MD, Prison ID#348303. God forgive me, but I hope he gets everything and more he deserves in prison for abusing, shaking and MURDERING the innocent life of my Grandson, I hope they make him suffer every second of every single day for the rest of his life, just as I suffer. I hope he only leaves prison in one way "A Body Bag" he deserves No More or No Less! The family does not think in any way that 30years is enough time for what he did to Justice or that 30 years for child abuse resulting in death is a fair punishment for murdering an innocent child. So we continue and at times Struggle on and are now fighting for Justice's Law. I search my heart, my soul and pray to God and My Grandson Justice Christopher EVERYDAY, to please give me strength and help me continue on with life. Everyday is a battle for me, a fight, but I get through each day the best way I know how. Some people can not except me or understand the person I have become. Some people even say they don't understand what my problem is, after all he was not MY SON, UNLESS you are in my shoes and am feeling the pain and destruction I am feeling DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME! Anyone who knows me, knows I have a VERY BIG, GIVING, LOVING HEART but when your Heart is RIPPED OUT OF YOU and 1/2 YOUR LIFE IS TAKEN from this earth, MURDERED, your whole life changes, you change and if people can not except that and except who and what I am, then Stay Away From Me. Justice was an Organ Donor and Helped Three People. We sent the Organ Recipients a letter and photos within six - eight months after the passing of Justice. We never heard any response what so ever from them. I have a lot of mixed emotions about that. It hurts and makes me feel they are ungrateful for the life Justice gave them. That sounds harsh and may be unfair, but it is how I feel none the less. And I am actually rethinking being an Organ Donor. Had the tables been turned, I would NOT hesitate to send my deepest sympathy to the family for their loss but also try to help them with their pain by letting them know he helped save a life and a piece of him still lives on.
imikimi - Customize Your World..
I am REAL, I am A Straight Shooter I don't bullshit you or try to be someone I AM NOT, I am Not Perfect nor do I think I know it all or have all the answers, I am Just ME, take it or leave it!
You think when you give birth to your children that the Love You Feel is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME kind of Love, but let me tell you when My Grandson was born, I felt that Love all over again and along with the birth of my Grandson Justice Christopher, a Grandmother was born, and being a Grandmother is just as rewarding as being a mother.
Justice may not be here in body but every single day of my life he will live through me and this family. My proudest moment being Ashley's Mother (and trust me I have alot of Proud Moments) was when she became a mother, if I was 1/2 the mother to Ashley in her 22 years that she was to Justice in just his short time on earth, of 4 1/2 months, then I know I was a good mother. Ashley & Justice had a bond and love that was beyond words. It only took Justice to hear his Mommies voice and he lit up. Ashley was Justice's EVERYTHING, just as Justice was Ashleys!
Ashley gave birth to My 2nd Grandson William Mack-Garfield Brown Jr. (LUCKY) on September 5, 2008 @ 1:23pm I Have NO DOUBT that Lucky was 100% a Gift from God and when I held him for the first time I BELIEVE without a doubt, I was TRULY, holding a ANGEL in my arms. So now I have two beautiful Grandsons, who just as their Mommie, is a Gift and Life's Best Reward.
I have a life partner Paul we have been together 19 Years this July 09. We have had our ups and downs and life is not always easy for us but we always seem to pull through together. He has been one of the people to carry me and hold me up and yet deal with his own pain and losing Justice has been a real test on our relationship along with other issues and I am not real sure we will make it, sometimes Love just is not enough. But we are still holding it together and I hope we will continue to go through life together, but only time will tell.
I have only a hand full of TRUE, FOREVER FRIENDS and you all know who you are (Paula, Eve, Stacy, Greg, Judy, etc.) and I am thankful everyday for each and everyone of you. I have a girl (MY GIRL Lisha) LOL, who I share a Friendship with that there are no words for and I Love Her Bunches & Bunches!!
I have pushed many people away in my life and I am sure one day I will regret it, but I find trusting people and letting people in is very tough for me anymore. I am not the Dee I use to be and I don't think I ever will be.. For The Most Part, I Suffer In Silence. I wonder at times WHY? WHY, would God Allow me To Live and Suffer Everyday, but I believe I am here for a purpose, one, I am here to be the very best mother I can be to Ashley, two, to fight for my grandbaby Justice Christopher, his rights and All Child Abuse Victims Rights and to NEVER, EVER, let him Be Forgotten and three, to be here to Love and be the Best Grammy I Can for my other Grandson Lucky.
My Family is the very most important thing to me. I lost My Brother George R. Wolfe Jr. (Little Terry) in July 06 and it took a toll on me. I miss him and the bond we shared. We did not talk everyday nor did we see each other everyday, but there was a Brother Sister Bond no one could break or come between and I new when I needed him he was ALWAYS there for me and I was always there for him. No One Messed With His Little Sister he always made sure of that! LOL, I Miss You Brother! I am a Mommie’s Girl, A Nannie & Pappy’s Baby, A Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Lover, Caretaker and True Friend Till The End. When My Time here is up, if I am remembered as all Those Things, then I accomplished all I have ever wanted in life. I Live One Second At A Time, There is a Million Tears Behind My Smile, but I have to believe every tear will make me stronger…