Kaptain Kirk profile picture

Kaptain Kirk

Who peed on your rug, Dude? Shut the Fuck up, Donny! You're out of your element!!

About Me

I'm an aspiring porn star. Unfortunately, I mostly practice by myself. I know what I like and I'm good at doing it. To myself, that is. I also play music in the band SoulFeel. They don't like me so I play louder than them. Rock and Porn, the essence of Life.

My Interests

Your mom. Just your mom. And stuff. Lots of stuff.

I'd like to meet:

Aliens from other places. Not really concerned about which galaxy or anything. Just other places. Humans are cool, I guess. But, I'm just looking for something a little different. You know, like human, but from somewhere else. I don't know, just tell me you're an alien and that'll be good enough. Ya, Awesome.

Music:

morphine, funk, jane's addiction, funk, pinback, led zep, sector 7G, funk, james brown, kool and the gang, marvin gaye, cymande, ween, tenacious d, music that goes "wah-kah-chic-kah, wah-kah-chic-kah, wah!!!"

Movies:

Harold and Maude, Waiting for Guffman, Spinal Tap, Talledega Nights (Ballad of Ricky Bobby) "Shake n' Bake"!, Borat, Love Pump III, The Return of Spank, Harry Pooper and the Goblet of Schmegma

Television:

Family Guy, Simpsons, Southpark, Jeopardy, Dukes of Hazzard, "Chips", Hawaii Five-O

Books:

Anything by Tom Robbins, On the Road, Electric Koolade Acid Test, Webster's Dictionary, Confessions of a Super Hot Foreign Diplomat

Heroes:

My Pops, Jimi Hendrix, Einstein, that Dude who saved Me