Bryce profile picture

Bryce

Bryce's Bucket of Fun!!

About Me

Nowadays, kids just grow up too damn fast. I can't keep up on what's "cool" and what's "rad" quite so easily in my old age. When Simpson's references that aren't even obscure are somehow invoked as such, you know you're out of touch with what will get those HOT 13-year-olds in bed. Through watching Dateline, naked, with the lights off, wearing heavily-applied makeup, I've discovered this is THE PLACE for getting stupid people to buy your music/care what you do/learn about your profound "art"/play "hide the sausage" in a public park toolshed. Here I am, preteen ladies!! I don't do anything interesting but I still sound better than a good portion of the bands that have gravytrained this site to popularity. I always keep my fridge stocked with wine coolers and kool-aid. Aaaaah Yeahhhhh...

My Interests

Primarily, things that involve sitting down. Video games, films, and defecating (extra fun with reading added) are all choice pastimes of my posterior.

I'd like to meet:

Brian Williams when he has that stern "You've been naughty" look. Me, with nothing but a six pack of substandard beer covering the area that contains the treasures of my genitals. I knew there wasn't any real thirteen year-olds in the house, I just wanted to be on NBC. Damn, though, gotta miss something good to see it.

Music:

How do you answer this and not seem like everyone else who is trying to be cool. You're raked over the coals regardless of what you put here. Whatever. Frank Zappa, lots of "indie" (god, I hate that word) hip-hop, some downtempo beaty-stuff (Daedelus, Blockhead, DJ Krush, etc.), Ween (whom I will kill for if the need arises), and to finish off this brief list, Massive Attack.

Movies:

Blade Runner, early to mid Dario Argento stuff, anime, anything with a healthy amount of gore (except Bloodsucking Freaks, that's messed up), David Lynch's stuff, and uh, oh yeah, Blade Runner.

Television:

Whatever's on, the more stupid, the better. I can watch any television program with a detached air of superiority. Why is it that NBC tries to act like they're doing some sort of public service with their predator stings, but they'll only air them against far more popular shows.

Books:

Howsabout "Authors" O.K. here goes: Neil Stephenson, Irvine Welsh, Dan Simmons, Robert Anton Wilson, those Onion archives (good poop reading)

Heroes:

You, for caring enough about me to read this crap. And not calling the police. Thanx, I get you some cookies for that.