I am the backbone of Scottish culture. Wherever there is injustice or imperialism I will fight it. Look deeply into the eyes of any proud Scotsman and you will see me staring back at you. When I watch Braveheart I weep openly like a wee girl, and I'll no be ashamed of that.
Although there are many recipes, my heart remains true. I am normally made with the following ingredients:
- sheep's "pluck" (heart, liver, and lungs)
minced onion
oatmeal
suet
spices and salt
I am traditionally served with "neeps and tatties" (turnips and potatoes), each of these being mashed all to hell. I love big tatties.
I love me some Rabbie Burns too, and I will always be around come supper time on January 25th in honor of his birth. "Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!" He makes me blush every time with that shite.
Many countries' food safety laws outlaw some of my ingredients. For example, United States law forbids the sale of any animal's lungs for human consumption. I am also banned from import in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, China, and Switzerland...pansy bastards all. Expatriate Scots and Scots' descendants overseas have been forced to engage in "haggis smuggling" to obtain true Scottish haggis. Try to avoid form fitting pants if you are going to smuggle the Haggis.