Ricky Retardo™ profile picture

Ricky Retardo™

I am here for Friends

About Me


I'm laid back & easy-going - ok, I may be King Procrastinator of the Universe, but in a good way. I can easily entertain myself for hours on end, and I'm just as easily amused.


A little on the OCD side, a little on the OCS side (I hear having no brothers or sisters will do that to ya) but hey, we all have our issues. I tend to see humor in just about everything and I try to deal with tragedy in the same manner. I have a defensive mechanism I've developed over the years called "The Fuckit Switch", and I tend to use it at the drop of a hat, especially if shit gets too heavy.


Mostly, I hang out with a core group of close friends as I'm not too close to my family and at times I don't mind avoiding human contact altogether. I probably don't take as good care of myself as I should. To me, drama and all the trappings that come with it are despicable, so if you're dramatic, please, they have medication for that - take a pill. I guess you could label me a fence-rider as I usually can defend both sides of any and every issue (love to play Devil's Advocate), but I do hold firmly to my beliefs on some matters: politics, religion, music and lifestyle. Sometimes I just like to disagree (argue) for no good reason. I've been called/labeled a lot of things over the years, and it used to piss me off until I realized that I don't really give a crap about someone else's perception of me. Karma is a bitch, so just keep in mind, what goes around comes around.


I like to camp, party (in moderation, of course) around an open fire, chill with my friends, watch a good movie (I like horror best), cooking, eating, etc. There are aspects of my life I don't want to change, but I'm not opposed to new ideas/adventures. I tend to gravitate towards those who are funny and intelligent. I have a step-daughter, Chelsea, whom I love and miss very much. She's a great kid and quickly becoming a very smart and attractive young lady.


Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday and all the rest I could live without, ESPECIALLY Thanksgiving & Christmas, however, I do have very fond childhood memories of holidays past. I'm most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt/sweatshirt (depending on the weather). I'm truly appreciative of my good, close friends, two of whom recently saved me from myself - I owe them more than I'll ever be able to repay. Of course all this is subject to change or get totally deleted depending on my mood on any given day ;-)


Whatever YOU choose to believe, have faith in or pray to is fine by me, just don't try to cram that shit down MY throat! Ricky Retardo (1963 - )

“Oooooh, look at me, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!! By the way I was being sarcastic...” Homer J Simpson ;)


"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain." Jim Morrison 1943-1971



My Interests

Running with scissors, making goofy faces hoping it gets stuck that way, playing with matches, horse playing @ the pool, jumping to conclusions, throwing stones @ glass houses (while living in 1 myself), pretending I'm the pot while calling the kettle black, burning a big fatty @ the Policeman's Ball, swimming in shark-infested water, burning bridges, walking under ladders, spilling salt, opening umbrellas in the house, shooting myself in the foot, cutting off my nose to spite my face, spitting/pissing into the wind, double dipping, running in and out of the house, peeing on electric fences, diving in shallow water, crying wolf, counting my chickens before they hatch, acting like I care,

eating desert before dinner, DUI, DWI, rubbernecking, downloading malicious files, scarfing down Halloween candy without checking it first, burning candles near furniture and draperies while unattended, disposing batteries and used motor oil improperly, jumping on the bed, swallowing watermelon seeds, staring directly into the sun, long walks on short piers, jumping off bridges (because everyone else is doing it), smoking while putting gas in the car, lighting the gas grill with the lid closed, painting without adequate ventilation




Bad Voodoo Mean people, driver's who cut you off, pinto beans, power outages, cold, Wal-Mart, bums, violence, hate, snobs, slave drivers, Chick Flicks, moldy bread, smelly koochie, ugly feet, crack ho's, Ford's, domestic beer, yankees (u know who u r), the under-the-bed monster, war, B O (hot ass n' armpits), hospitals, stress, depression, liars, cheaters, thieves, rap, hip-hop, long lines, evil, stale dognuts, downers, bummers, stepping in dog shit, stains, whiners, getting up early, headhunters, frowns, money, bills, puking, earth tones, red lights, blue lights, stop signs, family, authority figures, people who THINK they're authority figures, bitches, rules, laws, trouble, turn-off's, mud, slush, dirt, grime, crime, slime, mimes.


Good Voodoo Nice people, sunny beaches, sweet tea, warmth, Starbucks, kindness, love, fresh bread, clean koochie, sexy feet, Chevy's, sexy ho's, imported beer, Rebels (u know who u r), peace, freedom, chillin', friends, family, innocence, porn, legal beverages, purple, green, heavy metal, fun, kindness, turn-on's, squirting Reddi Whip straight into my mouth, surprises, MySpace, Internet, road trips, anything Bar-B-Que, Coca-Cola, Marlboro's, puppy breath, sleeping in, sunshine on bare skin, bumpin' uglies, plugged watermelon, Sour Apple Martini's.

I'd like to meet:



Music:


img src=http://www.musicplaylist.net/mc/images/get_blue.jpg

Heroes:

Mr. Jack Daniels & his fine Tennessee sippin' whiskeys!

My Blog

Birthday

19 April 1963 Your date of conception was on or about 27 July 1962 which was a Friday. You were born on a Friday under the astrological sign Aries. Your Life path number is 6. Your fortune cookie r...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:18:00 PST

Christmas letter to mom

Dear Mom, It's me, your son.  Remember?  It's a week from Christmas and I been thinking about you.  It's cold here, but I bet where you live in Florida it's probably in the 70's!&nbs...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Thu, 20 Dec 2007 06:50:00 PST

Twas the night before SOLSTICE (an old classic with a new twist)

THE NIGHT BEFORE WINTER SOLSTICE adapted from a story by Clement Clarke Moore and based upon The  Beiwe Festival as celebrated by the ancient Nordics 'Twas the night before Winter Solsti...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 07:27:00 PST

Compromise

com·pro·mise  /--k?mpr??ma?z/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kom-pruh-mahyz]  noun - a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of ...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 05:18:00 PST

First Snow!

It's here!  The first measurable snowfall of the season!  Makes me wanna turn up the heat a couple degrees, make some homemade hot cocoa (with marshmallow creme, no less!) and stare out the ...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 05:22:00 PST

Mountaineer Stigma - WTF?

I was watching local (WCHS -TV8) news at 6 p.m. today when a story about some sports writer, who works for CBS Sports, about made me choke on my dinner.  The writer's name is Mike Freeman and the...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Fri, 30 Nov 2007 07:03:00 PST

Gluttony, revelry & autumn Festivus!

--> --> Thanksgiving 2007, for me, came in flash.  Has it really been a year already?  For the record, this turkey day was spent with essentially the same folks, albeit a different venue.&...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Fri, 23 Nov 2007 01:14:00 PST

I’m glad I won (& Summer didn’t)

I am a born & raised West "By God" Virginian.  Fortunate enough to be exposed to "city life" while at the same time experiencing what it means to be born into Appalachian heritage.  I lo...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Sun, 18 Nov 2007 08:36:00 PST

Merry Bummer & Happy Your Life Sucks...

It hit me today.  With Thanksgiving just a few days away & Christmas (Winter Solstice) just around the corner, anxiety has reared it's ugly head.  Damn I despise this time of year. ...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Thu, 15 Nov 2007 12:52:00 PST

An interesting situation...

For whatever reason, in this age of instant communication over vast distances, many of us pick & choose whether to answer texts or calls based on convenience, situation or importance.  I was ...
Posted by Ricky Retardo™ on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 05:16:00 PST