I'd like to meet:
I'd obviously love to meet God.Although i speak to him regularly,i live for the day we finally meet face to face and we can rejoice in the rapturous love we have both spread throughout the world.
KEVIN'everybody loves kevin' CAMERON-----
CRAIG 'craggy island,clark kent,love machine,frank lee, DICKSON------
MIKEY 'stumpy,the guns,the pot,thumper, PEPPER------
ALI 'bali bee,izzard,big cunt,sweat monster, nice guy, WALES
..-
My beautiful little neice Hope
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-------------------------------------------------Man i can't decide who's best CHUCK or T you decide...-----
MR.T-----
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1. Mr. T doesn't feel pain; pain feels Mr. T-----------------2. It took five women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T-----------------3. Mr. T is not black. It's just that the sun is too afraid to shine on him.-----------------4. Mr. T's sperm is so strong it could impregnate a man.-----------------5. The last time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occurred next proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.-----------------6. Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity. Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.-----------------7. In the unlikely event that Mr. T ever pitied himself, the universe would immediately reboot to 1982.-----------------8. Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard that he burst into flames.-----------------9. When the Visi-Goths moved into the Balkan Peninsula in 268 AD, they weren't invading the Roman Empire--they were trying to get away from Mr. T.-----------------10. Mr. T doesn't obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys him.-----------------11. God didn't create the world; he just locked Mr T in a garage with an old Chevy and a box of tools.-----------------12. If you see Mr. T, it's already too late. If you don't see Mr. T, turn around.-----------------13. Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.-----------------14. Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.-----------------15. Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.-----------------16. Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.-----------------17. Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they travelled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the Big Bang.-----------------18. The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.-----------------19. Mr. T once fell into a pool of lava. He nearly drowned.-----------------20. Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.-----------------21. Mr. T. does not break wind. He destroys it.-----------------22. Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.-----------------23. When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.-----------------24. Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.-----------------25. Ever have a sharp pain in your chest that you can't explain? That was Mr. T, and it was a warning.-----------------26. Mr. T was once involved in a head-on car crash, and he was the only survivor. Mr. T was walking at the time.-----------------27.That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.-----------------28. On the A-team, Face , Hannibal, and Murdoch were all masters of disguise. Mr T didn't have to wear a disguise. The bad guys didn't recognize him out of fear.-----------------29. Mr. T can bench press 800lb. With his pen1s.-----------------30. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mr. T is going to walk.CHUCK NORRIS
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frostRemember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
