My Testimony

In October of 2005 I learned that I had a rare tumor in my eye socket. I went into the hospital on Nov. 2, 2005 I was to go into the hospital for one day to have a biopsy to be sure it was a tumor. I found myself in the hospital for a week, not knowing what was wrong with me. No one had any answers for me and they were not able to stitch me back up. Following this week of no answers the doctors came in to inform me that I had a sarcoma tumor in my eye socket and that they needed to remove my eye! They informed me that the tumor was just millimeters from my brain and if it went into my brain cavity it would be fatal! They would not be able to help me at all! At that moment I lost it and I began to cry. I did not understand what was going on, how this could be happening to me! Thank God for my mother who was with me and never left me. She immediately began to pray. The doctors left the room and I could not pull myself back together. I began to call my Pastor and friends and they began to pray also and make their way to the hospital. Finally I remembered to pray, its amazing how we forget to call out to God first in a moment of tragedy. Its good to have faith-filled Godly people around you. I told God that I don't receive this report, I receive your report which says I am healed. God gave me a word during prayer that I was healed and I did not need to worry. But the doctors report did not change. This began to make me doubt God, but I quickly rebuked the thought. I refused to have the surgery done because I was standing on Gods word. So off we went to Cleveland, Oh to the Cleveland clinic for a second opinion. When I got to the Cleveland clinic my family from everywhere came also. I was expecting the doctors here to cancel everything the doctors in at OSU hospital was saying, but that did not happen. The doctors examined me and they said we don't believe it is cancer and I began to rejoice! I asked for an MRI because I believed that the tumor was gone. After getting the results back from the MRI the doctors decided that they did not agree with OSU that it was cancer, but they did agree that the tumor needed to be removed because it could go into my brain cavity and become cancer. So I left Cleveland Clinic in total depression not understanding what God was doing. Upon returning to Columbus I had an appointment to go back to OSU. I thought I would have time to prepare and pray, but they needed to operate immediately. They scheduled me for two days later. I went home still holding onto the word that God gave me that I am healed. There were people praying for me across America, Churches, pastors, prayer groups, in prisons, in bible colleges, people I did not even know. I spent that whole time with God and believing. I believed that when I got there that the doctors would not even be able to find a tumor and the surgery would be off! That did not happen, I found myself being prepped for surgery and I said ok God if not now then I believe that even if they take me into the surgery room that when I come out I will still have my eye because I am healed! When I awoke from surgery and found that my eye had been removed and everything in the socket had been removed also, I was devastated. I began to ask God what happened because He said I was healed and He let them take my eye! I told God I trusted you and you left me down! I felt life as I knew it was over. My sister (Charmaine), who at the time was just beginning to really walk with God in relationship came to stay with me as well as my mom to nurse me back to health. She just kept reminding me that God has a plan and He has not left you or forgotten about you. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. They had taken a patch of skin from my leg to create me an eye socket. She changed my padding everyday on the leg and the eye. I don't know how she was able to stand it but she did it and I thank her with all my heart, she is a blessing. Two weeks after my surgery my grandmother passed (my moms mother). Mom went back to our home town to be with her siblings while my sister and I prepared to get me ready to be able to go home also to the funeral. I said God its supposed to get better from here not worse! When we returned from the funeral my mom took over where she left off doing it all for me and I know it was hard for her but she did it and I thank her also she is my angel! I eventually was able to look at it myself and start doing things for myself. It was so hard to look at myself and have to clean the wound and replace the pads but with Gods help I did it. That is when I found out that they had not only taken my eye but my eye lids as well, for the tumor had gotten into them also. I began to cry to no end. I went to see my surgeon and he explained to me why they had to remove my eye lids and that if I had not had this surgery done they had only give me three months to live. See sometimes we can't see Gods hand but He was in it from the beginning! I went home and I repented unto God for complaining, not trusting Him and blaming Him. I began to cry out to Him for understanding. God showed me that He had me go to the doctor, He led my steps the whole way. He even made sure I went to the right physician ( who had his whole office praying for me!!). He made sure that the cancer was gone! He made sure it was taken care of before it could take my life!!!!!! I praise God!! I went through 2 months of radiation though I was scheduled for more. The doctors said I went through it better than anyone they every seen, I drove myself there and back everyday! I knew God was with me. I have a purpose and destiny to full-fill. God has place a word in my mouth and in my heart to take to the world. Just like Mary carried Gods baby to term and delivered through all the struggle. I am carrying Gods baby by way of purpose and destiny and I will bring it to term and I will deliver!!