myspace layouts :: Get this layout .
I try my best to do my best... Shit just always seems to want to fuck up but i go on and get over. I am a crazy, very expressive person. I speak my mind and that's always an admired quality in someone until they hear what they don't want to. I believe in love and all of the power that comes with it. I want what everyone wants that one single person to go home to at the end of the day when you know, no matter how shitty your day was or whatever happend everything will be alright as soon as you see them, because they know just what to say and do and how to look at you to make you feel like nothing else matters except those precious moments you get in life with that person. I have a beautiful daughter, Jossalynne, I have been truly blessed by her, she couldn't be any more perfect, I couldn't have asked for a better child. However, every day I dread I am screwing her up in some form or another. Being a mom is scary shit and those young moms who are cocky and confident and think they know what they're doing and it's right.... You are so fake. There is no right or wrong... You just do your damnest, everyone is raised differently that's what forms us into such different individuals. Not only you're upbringing and things you have learned, but also the way you learn to think and perceive things. Add that to past experiences and there you are with your own crazy little mind... I have trust issues, especially when it comes to relying on anyone for anything... I have grown to be a very strong, and independent person.. Crying doesn't make you weak, it's what you do afterwards that determines your strength. I believe in true happiness, though I have yet to find it, I believe one day i will, I know it's out there somewhere. In saying that, I will also tell you, I have much false hope for the future. lol I want to believe things will be fine so bad so I make myself, yet at the back of my head reality is knocking... I am a realist. I am not in the slightest way religious. I do not believe in an afterlife. I believe those who feel the need to believe in an afterlife have issues accepting that one day this will all be over and this is the only chance you get. That way they feel fine when they make purposely wrong decisions... It doesn't matter, they'll go somewhere better later where they won't have to make decisions... wrong... lol But believe what you want, but I won't pity you when you're dead in a dreamless sleep in a state of nothingness with worms and maggots infesting your rotting corpse...Noone ever thinks about the not so pretty side of things...funny. I am a biatch.. I enjoy it all too much.. Pissing people off is one of my favorite pasttimes, right next to arguing. I will do whatever is necessary to get my point of view across to anyone... I have made many mistakes in my life and I'm not about to quit now I'm sure, but that only proves I am human. I have been through more than I ever thought humanly possible in such a short amount of time my whole life changed. And here I am now making the most of it.. I have regrets, many, many regrets. But I wouldn't change a thing because having gone through what I had to go through has made me who I am, and though I know I have flaws, and issues and half of the time I'm a retarded emotional wreck, I love me. I am quirky and weird and clumsy and in love with love and have crazy opinions and outlooks and I go about doing things, so the wrong way, all time but that's okay.. Maybe one day I will learn from all of this, and be able to accomplish something for once. But if I don't I will be old and wise and will be able to give others advice, though I will have never accomplished anything maybe someday my wisdom will help someone accomplish something..... There's my false hope again... I tend to babble and rant.. But I enjoy it and I find myself interesting...lol Make sense to you? As long as someone thinks I am, (me) then I am OKAY! lol I am just trying to make something out of nothing, and I have been all my life....If you would like to know more about my crazy self and I didn't already scare you away...hit me up sometime.....lol
*
need i say anything really?
*
need i say anything really?