I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for kenyan refugees, i write award winning operas, i manage time efficiently. Occasionally i tread water for 3 days in a row.I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, i can pilot bi-cycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, i cook 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in su-doku, a veteran in love and an outlaw in wales.Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, i once single handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, i was scouted by the Gunners, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When i'm bored i build a large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On mondays after college, i fix electrial appliances free of charge.I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire, I am a private citizen, yet i recieve fan mail. I have mc'ed in german backslang while on slovakian cable t.v having a brazilian wax and have been a mystery shopper in ann summers. Last winter i toured Dublin with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can touch MC Hammer!I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for MI6. I sleep with one eye open so i can never be caught out!
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