Music:
Member Since: 29/08/2006
Band Members:
Years before time, Bart Banana was found in a packing crate one windy morning in Newquay. It is believed he was born with a fully grown beard, though no hard facts are available, owing to the thought that he emerged from Myth and Legend. His race are referred to by modern science as 'Banarnians.'
When approached by Ibanez to discuss the possibility of using his hairs (which are magic) for their new 'Psychic' range, Bart merely blinked at the executives, and left their meeting room with an armful of clothes, some wallets, a blank cheque and the promise of an all expenses paid trip round the world on the back of a whale with both of their wives, whom they promised to phone and arrange scantily cladness with.
Such sway does Bart Banana have in the world of music that they asked if his house could be used as the venue for the next X-Factor.
Upon hearing this request Bart merely smirked, causing Simon Cowell to dissolve in a shower of talcum powder and one pence pieces.
Following the inquest, Bart was moved to write some songs. Slinging his guitar low (Their home planet has excessive gravity, and a comparatively mushy density to the planet Earth. Banarnians have a peculiarly built muscle structure.), he folded space and time, inventing myspace, and filling it with Holy Banarniness.
The first Muff, One 'James of Gormley' was acquired one evening when Bart walked past a shop window containing a drumkit. Blinking, Bart tranbanogriphied the drumkit into a living breathing being, whose understanding of rhythm and smacking stuff very hard gave him the perfect model upon which to build to become Bart's drummer.
Muff number two, 'Kyle of Gormley', formed under similar circumstances to James, only slightly later, and was made of a roomful of guitars. He plays better than any guitarist who has ever lived. This is a general statement, but is commonly accepted, because his riffage causes copycat guitarists to overheat and explode in a shower of confusion and befuddlement.
The player of Bass, whose name is lost to the ashes of memory, was known only as 'Big Muff'. He was recently, ironically, swallowed whole by 'Little Muff'. Sources indicate 'Little Muff's' identity to be one 'Justin Chapman', though no-one is yet brave enough to interview him. Gig survivors say that he is the most energetic bass player in history. This biographer would have cause to agree, having been present in the early stages of Little Muff's entry into the band.
The final Muff, 'Lucy Campbell', brings the 'Fairy' Element to the Muffs, because she is a girl, whose voice she and Bart stole from a fairy in a rigged game of Capture the Cabbage. Reports indicated that one objector to their victory was eaten by Little Muff as they tried to exit the building, though these claims are unsubstantiated, and must be treated as allegations until court proceedings can be undergone.
This biographer, 'Adam Puckey', was recently made an honorary Muff, owing to his occasional lyrical/literary input, though is rarely allowed near the band, for his own safety.
The Muffs plan to rock the planet as hard as possible before the time has come for the Bartoo Bananaship to appear and remove them from their earthly grit and deposit them in parts of the galaxy more in need of their wonderfully youthful and energetic breed of Rock n'Roll.
They may leave clones behind to continue the legacy, or they may not. See them play, lest you be one of the ones who missed contact with genius...
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Member Since: 29/08/2006 B.C.
Type of Label: sticky
Influences: The Wildhearts, Ramones, Soul Asylum, Husker Du, Backyard Babies, Rancid, NOFX, Crash Kelly, Butch Walker, The Yo-Yos, American Heartbreak, A, Andrew WK, Apes, Pigs and Spacemen, B-Movie Heroes, Baby Chaos, Danny Frye, Paul Westerberg, The Pogues, Senseless Things, Silver Ginger 5
Type of Label: Major