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So, once you've got the hole at the bottom of the popcorn box, it's basically just a waiting game

About Me

What would I do if I had a million dollars? I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man. Damn straight, I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money. Well, the kind of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do. What about you now? What would you do?Myspace Layouts
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My Interests

An essential characteristic of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero, and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When he wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic that Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses, the business suit, that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He's weak, he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race...Also Lois could never have Superman's baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it's strong enough to carry her child? He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. But that would kill him.

I'd like to meet:

I'm looking for a young Paulina type. Well, that face, but with better headlights. You know how hers have kind of dimmed lately? Heidi Klums beams would do. And her teeth. Or, ooh, that Britney Spears girl. She's got great knockers. But she's a tad muscular. Uh, actually, you know what? Her ass would do, too, if she had a better grille. Like, uh, Michelle Pfeiffer back when she did "Grease 2". But she'd have to be a little smilier than Michelle. Kinda like Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, before she got Stamosed. But not as skinny. Someone a little meatier, like Heidi. But without the accent. You know those accents: yah-yah-yah-yah. They really get old fast. You know what I mean. Someone like that. And I'd like her to be into culture and shit, too.


Just some of my favorites: Nirvana, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Led Zepplin, Aerosmith, The Doors, Rage Against the Machine, The White Stripes, STP, Marilyn Manson, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, CCR, Primus, Rob Zombie, Guns N' Roses, Beastie Boys, Eminem, 50 Cent, Dr. Dre, Snoop, Tupac, Jay-Z, Busta, Nelly, Outkast, Too Short, Tim McGraw, Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks,and George Strait. Just to name 2 or 3. Oh, and Nine Inch Nails.


In no specific order: Braveheart, Boondock Saints, Pirates of the Carribean, The Big Lebowski, Office Space, Dumb & Dumber, The Godfather I and II, Indiana Jones trilogy, Star Wars-all of them, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill vol. 1 and 2, Dogma, Clerks, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob Strike back, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Super Troopers, Fight Club, Snatch, and almost anything with Tom Cruise...there's more but i'll stop here.


Aqua Teen Hunger Force is the best 10 minutes on tv, Lost is awesome watch it if you can. The Simpsons and Seinfeld(..1 show ever BTW) in syndication, Family Guy, Futurama is hilarious, PTI, Around the Horn, football, and of course baseball.


Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles, The Divinci Code, and The Rule of Four, Harry Potter...don't laugh, cause they're better then anything you've ever written.


This guy is my hero.

My Blog

And I hate you all.

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist ChristianEVILBIBLE.COM10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence ...
Posted by The Professor on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 06:10:00 PST

Fuck Mickey Mouse! Fuck him in the ass with a big rubber dick!

And then break it off and beat him to death with it! The longer you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear the phrase "sanctity of life," "sanctity of life." You believe in it? Personally, ...
Posted by The Professor on Sat, 27 Aug 2005 10:11:00 PST