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I am here for Friends

About Me


AIM = iamthesmokinggun
I'm the 4th boy out of 5, but was the baby for 10 years. Because of my place in the family, I've always strove to excel, to stand out, be better than, and be independent. To be my own person, my own man. That's the little brother syndrome . . . to prove that I could do what my older brothers could do, and do better. I guess that's why I was so determined to move out. After a few failed attempts, one of which was the navy, I've made it. I lived in Baltimore, MD, Chicago, IL, and Laughlin, NV before finding a niche in Carlsbad. I had a great job as an anesthesia tech in the surgery department working in the operating rooms at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla. However I just moved from there to start the next chapter in my life. I decided I don't want to be in the medical field anymore, and that I'm gonna go back to school to become a high school english teacher. So I moved to Rancho Cucamonga with two of my friends, and will be trying to piece together the next road for myself here. Can't wait to meet all the new people that will be getting on my bus.
Becoming an adult . . . I know it's said that when you're 18 you are an "adult", but you're only an adult when you grow up, and start your own life. Trying to create a life equal to, or greater than the one that was provided to you by your parents. I'm finally on my way. My parents did a great job with me and my brothers. I think the greatest thing my dad ever had to tell me (and he reminded me often) was the "learn from other people's mistakes". It's really the difference between a smart man, and a wise man. The smart man will make a mistake, and learn to not do it again. The wise man will see other people make mistakes, and he'll decide to not make the same mistake. Anyways, I've taken that and have tried to plan my life around it. I've made a ton of mistakes, and a lot of regrets a long the way. But with each mistake and regret is knowledge.
- I've driven across the country three times. (I've been in 34 of the 50 states. So far, Northern Arizona is the prettiest place I've ever seen)
- I want to be an Ultimate Fighter.
- I can't decide which I like more, music or movies.
- I've been scuba diving.
- I'll take a woman with wit, and intelligence over a good body and pretty face any day of the week. (Have all of the above, and I'll put the dishes in the dishwasher, leave the seat down, make my bed every morning, and whatever else it is she requires of a husband. Haha)
- I'm the king of free cell. Really. My two longest streaks are 31 and 20 games won in a row.
- When I was in kindergarten, someone broke into our house. I saw him, and he saw me.
- I hate to shave.
- I'm competitive.
- I'm pretty sure I'll beat you at Scrabble.
- When I was in pre-school, this creepy old lady was the aide and she'd bring a block of her government cheese, cut it up, and share it with the class.
- I used to regularly attend all-night skating at Skate Junction. (Too often, cheesy songs remind me of "advanced backwards skating only" or "couples skating only")
- I think yahoo pool is more addictive than it seems like it'd be.
- I prefer being the "little spoon".
- I'm a hugger, and wish I did it more.
- My first kiss made me sick to my stomach. When I got home, my brother Lucas asked me what was wrong. I said I didn't feel well. He said it was probably something I ate. I laughed.
- I CANNOT stand rhetorical questions and people who talk just to hear themselves.
- I'm turned off by smoking. I'm not turned off by it I guess, I just don't get the point in it.
- I'm jealous of people who have a close relationship with their grandparents, and really anyone who simply knows their grandparents at all.
- I'm a night owl.
- I felt most like "me" and at-home on a baseball field. Especially at third base, and definitely on the base paths.
- I have a bad habit of drunk texting.
- I listen to pop music and I'm not afraid to admit it, but I do turn it down in traffic, and at red lights.
- My favorite word is " alexithymia "
- I feel bad because I think girls are cute when they cry.
- I correct spelling and grammar in magazines, posters at work, the newspaper, and find myself correcting friends or co-workers for the same, waaay more often than is polite. Haha. My nickname at work is "Professor Brause".
- I get freaked out when I use a restroom and the shower curtain is fully closed. I HAVE to peek inside to make sure there's not an axe murderer hiding behind it.
- I don't like gossip nor here-say.
- I love USC football.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:



Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X’s
and he had to ask his father what the X’s meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Autumn”
because that was the name of the season
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And lefts butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Innocence: A Question”
because that was the question about his girl
And that’s what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle’s Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it “Absolutely Nothing”
Because that’s what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen.

My Blog

In my opinion.

Okay, I'm not sure where my mind will go with this but, the topics I'm hoping to tackle are abortion, same sex marriage, and illegal immigration among (maybe) others.I don't follow politics. I don't v...
Posted by on Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:54:00 GMT

Some music Id recommend.

I wrote a survey a while back that I'm currently filling out.  One of the questions is for the survey-ee to recommend some music.  These are the albums in my iTunes that I'd recommend. ...
Posted by on Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:00:00 GMT

God?

I think the reason so few of us have experienced Godand are reluctant to believe He exists,is because that bastard is ashamed to show His face.God, if you exist, get your fuckin' ass down here.And don...
Posted by on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:47:00 GMT

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they are upset.  And even...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:47:00 GMT

Dalton Trumbos

Of course a lot of guys were ashamed. Somebody said let's go out and fight for liberty and so they went and got killed without ever once thinking about liberty. And what kind of liberty were they figh...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:45:00 GMT

Two videos I think should be watched in their entirety.

They are lengthy, but enthralling.  I promise.____________________________________________________ ________________"Loose Change: 2nd Edition" (1 hr 29 min 22 sec) "ZeitGeist Movie" (1 hr ...
Posted by on Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:51:00 GMT

Charle's Bukowski's

"Food is good for the nerves and the spirit.  Courage comes from the belly- all else is desperation."Bukowski is a genius.
Posted by on Sun, 23 Dec 2007 15:52:00 GMT