Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! profile picture

Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson!

One day you'll be glad we met!

About Me

KYLE JOHNSON
A Young Professional who is:
Visionary and a critical thinker
Pro-active not reactive; a consummate team builder
Inquisitive by nature and known as a sharp troubleshooter
Passionate about improving processes and people
JOHNSON: I live in beautiful austin texas. I'm a part time realtor. I specialize in south austin / buda / kyle area and work with several loan oficers that have programs to get almost anyone approved for a home loan. I Just bought myself a 2600 sq/ft house that im remodeling to live in. During part of the week I work at the best strip club in texas( The Yellow Rose ) as a DJ. I love it! If you want to come party with me at the Yellow Rose i'm in the DJ booth Tuesday through Friday from 11am - 7:30pm, stop on by say hello and get rowdy with me! Although I do not dedicate as much time to it as i used to, I own a lucrative event coordination and production company. The fantastic team of people i have working with me take care of the greater portion of that. I'm a really exciting and outgoing guy. There's not much that i don't like to go out and do, from fun in the sun water sports, to partying on the town like a rockstar. As much as I love going out I also love spending time at home watching movies, I have a large collection of dvd's and find there is nothing like curling up on the couch with someone enjoying one.

My Interests

Good times, movies, music music music, DANCING, working on my cars / boat, Event promotion, printing and graphic design, politics, books, swimming, metal craft, carpentry, traveling, custom car restoration, car audio, concert audio, concerts, special events, cruises, camping, fishing, boating, outdoors, etc....

I'd like to meet:


Im always up to meet new people. On of my talents is networking. I'd like to think that i know all kinds of people, in all kinds of places, that do all kinds of things... So if you want to meet me, lets get together, grab a bite, maybe a couple of drinks, catch a show, a movie, some stand up, whatever and get to know each other better.
All that we are is result of what we have thought

75 Random Questions:

Random
Do you have any pets? Three, two dogs, one cat
What color shirt are you wearing? Warren Moon 1995 Pro Bowl throwback jersey
Name three things that are physically close to you: Smokes, Cell Phone, Bowl of Fruit
What is the last book you read? Rule by Secrecy
Are you or were you a good student? Average, i was going for a B.S. in BS
What's your favorite sport? Football, IndyCar, like to play tennis
Do you enjoy sleeping late? Sleeping in is nice once in a while
What's the weather like right now? Hot air hangs like a deadman in a wild oak tree
Who tells the best jokes? Mine aren't half bad
What was the last thing you dreamed about? Vegas
Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes I drive, and several deer have crashed into me...
Do you believe in karma? what goes around comes around
Do you believe in luck? You feeling lucky punk?
Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up? soft scrambled
Do you collect anything? If so, what? DVD's and Jersey's
Are you proud of yourself? Failry
Are you reliable? about 90%
Have you ever given money to a bum? Often
What's your favorite food? Sandwhiches or Sushi/Sashimi
Have you ever had a secret admirer? if its a secret how would i know?
Do you like the smell of gasoline? while filling the boat on the way to the lake
Do like to draw? i doodle and scribble somtimes
What's your favorite invention? electricity
Is your room messy? Theres a little clutter
What do you like better: oranges or apples? apples
Do you give in easily? I stand my ground
Are you a good guesser? I guess
Can you read other people's expressions? Fairly well i think
Are you a bully? At times
Do you have a job? two of em
What time did you wake up this morning? 10:37
What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Cinimon raisin toast and fruit
When was the last time you showered? 10:43
What do you plan on doing tomorrow? Working
What's your favorite day of the week and why? Tuesday - Boat day and new dvds
Do you have any nicknames? Kirby, WyldKyle, Caspur, K-Dog, Captain Kyle
Have you ever been scuba diving? I love it
What's your least favorite color? yellow
Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who? The family
Would you ever go skydiving? No reason to jump out of a perfectly good plane
What toothpaste do you use? Some really expensive shit the dentist sells me
Do you enjoy challenges? love to be challenged
What's the worst injury you have had? Compressed Disc
What's the last movie you saw? SuperBad
What do you want to know about the future? If the dollar will collapse
What does your last text message say? Call me when you
Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to? Josh C
What's your favorite school subject? History / Science
What's your least favorite school subject? English
Would you rather have money or love? Love
What is your dream vacation? Carribean island tour on a large sailboat / yacht
What is your favorite animal? Cotton Top Tamirine (sp?)
Do you miss anyone right now? Yes
What's the last sporting event you watched? Watching the indy race and football games RIGHT NOW
Do you need to do laundry? Nah i think im goon
Do you listen to the radio? Yep
Where were you when 9/11 happened? At home watching the news
What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Kick em, punch em, drop em
Have you ever caught a butterfly? when I was younger
What color are your bed sheets? Brown Satin
What's your ringtone? In the air tonight
Who was the last person to make you laugh? Ken
Do you have any obsessions right now? Health and fitness
Do you like things that glow in the dark? Glowstiks :-D
What's your favorite fruity scent? rasberrey fabreze noticables
Do you watch cartoons? adult swim baby!!!
Have you ever sat on a roof? when southpark meadows was a venue we used to sit on the roof of my freinds house and listen for free
Have you ever been to a different country? A few
Name three things in the world you dislike: Liars, Poverty, high gas prices
Name three people in the world you dislike: President Tom (iran), putin, hugo chavez
Has a rumor even been spread about you? Of course
Do you like sushi? Love it
Do you believe in magic? Im a magician on the side
Do you hold grudges? Live and let be
Generic Survey 1:

The Basics
Full Name Kyle Johnson
You like it? The only thing I would change it to is Kyle George Orville Lewis Dorler Johnson
Birthdate January 29th
Height/Weight 6'1" 295
Eye Color Hazel
Hair Color Light Brown
Can you...
Drive? Like none other
Drive a manual? If I need to
Touch your nose with your tongue? Nope
Cook? Like a pro, Im like the texas soup pimp
Dance? I've been known to cut a mean rug...
Sing? Karaoke is fun for me, I'm probably not to good but its fun
Sew? Yep
Speak another language? Some spanish
Have you ever...
Eaten sushi? Love sushi
Been in love? Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
Skipped school? Yeah, way too much
Made prank calls? Used to back in the day, based em off the quan chronicles
Done illegal drugs? Who me?
Stolen something worth more than ? Nope, not a theif
Flashed someone? Ohh hell yeah!
Been drunk? Too many times.
Eaten squid? I like calamari
Been to New York City? Once a year
Been to London? Not yet
Favorite
Drink Sweet Tea
Soda Diet Coke
Food NY Pizza / Deli Sandwhiches
Restaurant Cheesecake Factory
Color Red
Artist Alex Grey
Album Phantom Of The Opera
Website Ebay
The Last
Person to hit you Some crazy chic at a party last weekend
Person you wanted to hit Some crazy guy at the party I had to regulate on
Person you hugged Not sure, probably moms
Person you kissed A Gentleman doesn't kiss and tell
Person you wanted to kiss you She knows who she is.
Country you've been in Mexico, Jamaica, Gran Caymen
Car you've driven My accord
Law you've broken Speeding
Thing you ate Taquito
Thing you drank Water
Thing you said Word
Book you read Im not sure, I read alot of magazines.
Show you watched Some really cool show on Discovery Channel about Creation Theories
What would you do if?:

What would you do if?
The President of the United States called you: Discuss the value of the american dollar and the Project for a New American Century
You won the lottery: Buy a bigger boat and some investment property, build a full scale wood/metal shop and keep my job only working 2 days a week for fun
You got invited to be on a reality TV show: Bring on the cameras!
You caught a friend stealing from you: Find out why... to err is human, to forgive divine
You witnessed a murder: What Murder?
A random stranger offered you candy: Hope it was REALLY good!
MySpace and Facebook closed: Start my own social networking site
A genie granted you one wish: Heal my father
You lost your favorite possession: The things i own dont own me
You found 10 dollars on the ground: Hope it wasnt taped down
Your date throws up on you: Clean them up and hold their hair till they were done
Someone cut off a chunk of your hair: bust out the clippers
Your favorite celebrity comes to visit you: Have a coctail and shoot the breeze
You were stranded on an island with nothing but the ability to make one phone call: Go Fishing, Swim, Find a volleyball and name it Giovanni

Music:

I LOVE MUSIC!!!! MUSIC IS MY LIFE!!! IM A DJ!!!

Movies:

Dusk Til Dawn, The Usual Suspect's, American Beauty, Scarface, Casino, Donny Brasco, Blow, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Clerks, MallRats, Chasing Amy, Big Lebowski, Great Expectations, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, Kill Bill, Sin City, Reservioir Dogs, Boondock Saints, Dogma, Man on Fire, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Very Bad Things, True Romance, Dogma, The Saint, The Real McCoy, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Thomas Crown Affair, Oceans Eleven, House of 1000 Corpses, Goodfellas, Triple X, Salton Sea, Heat, Spun, Fight Club, Snatch, Gone in 60 Seconds, The Mexican, Desperado, Once Upon a time in mexico, Gattaca, Fifth Element, Swordfish, Be Cool, Get Shorty, Chronicles of Riddick, After the sunset, Entrapment, The Transporter

Television:

Soprano's, Curb Your Enthusiam, Nip/Tuck, Sheild, Simpson's, Aqua Teen, Family Guy, King of the Hill, Beavis And Butt-Head, Law and Order, Miami Vice, Homicide: Life on the Street, CSI, Chapelle's Show, Entourage, Las Vegas, Friends, King of Queens, Real World, TILT

Books:

Catch 22, Catcher In The Rye, Nine Stories, Moby Dick, Any J.D. Sallinger Book, Darkness Within, Anthem, Psycological Guide To Gorilla WarFare, JKF, anything that has to do with the assassination of JFK, and government corruption and secret ops.

Heroes:


My Blog

DIESELBOY AND J-MESSINIAN MAY 10th!!!

DIESELBOY&MC J-MESSINIANSATURDAY MAY10th 2008DRUM AND BASS IN YO FACE!!!!Dieselboy and J-Messinian are an incomparable drum and bass dj and mc duo lleaving all others in a the dust. The in your fa...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Thu, 01 May 2008 10:38:00 PST

Cashew’s and Memories

So it has been a little over two months since my dad passed away. I have been handling it very well, but sometimes things get to me. And its not big things, its the little things, little things that s...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:43:00 PST

Devils Cove Vids April 7th 2008

Partying out on my boat april 7th 2008 at devils cove, lake travis, austin tx!!! If you wanna come party with us this weekend let me know, the boat holds 8 and spots are filling fast!!!! .. ...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Tue, 08 Apr 2008 09:51:00 PST

Hard To Find / Bachelor Destiny?

    Sometimes I wonder... Am I destined to be a constant bachelor? As we grow older I am finding more and more of my friends are getting married, having kids, some are buying houses fro...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:59:00 PST

THE ANNUAL DJ APHRODITE PARTY

Hey everyone Its that time if year again where I like to get together with my business partners and bring some kick ass music to town. It's fall and that means time for APHRODITE!!! If you haven't bee...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 04:47:00 PST

Some poems from last night

Life Without Love 1.0 A life without a love is no life at all,For what is anything without someone to share it with,What is beauty with no one to en...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 11:22:00 PST

Old School Rave Video

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Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Tue, 31 Jul 2007 12:41:00 PST

Funny Videos For Today

I PHONE OR I CONDOM FULL THROTTLE DUECHE BOTTLE ...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 01:22:00 PST

me and my keg - a poem by JOHNSON

sitting here alone with my kegoh keg of mine floated you are nottapped tonight with but one thoughtto party with others until you are gonewho knows in the process we might see a thongbut alas the part...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Thu, 12 Jul 2007 12:22:00 PST

You know you want the position!

So its valentines once again, and i saw several "survey" type valentines thingies going around, now even though i may have given in and posted one i made this last year or the year before and i think,...
Posted by Kyle Motherf#$%!ng Johnson! on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 10:54:00 PST