Deadgods and Smeagol profile picture

Deadgods and Smeagol

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships and Friends

About Me

Well its not always easy to describe your self to someone because what I see in myself someone can see it completely different. Well lets start with my flaws as I see them. Im socially inadept I really dont have any small talk skills Im shy around girls that I like, Im afraid to say something that might turn them off so I end up not talking much at first. I dont consider my self attractive. Im not fat or disfigured. Just not anything that youd point to your friend and say see that cute guy. Ive been brutally hurt emotionally by my ex who cheated on me then made me feel that I was to blame. Im a smartass and can be sarcastic a lot. Being lost is more of an adventure to me then an annoyance. I bottle my rage and my hurt feelings preferring to hide it away then burden anyone with it. And probably many more but Im sure Ive scared most of you away by now.Some of the positive things now. I like to be in social settings I love to be with people I know and meet new people. Im a great listener and have a fairly good memory most of the time. I have a photographic memory that gets left in the sun. Over time it fades. I can be funny in a very sick way . thinks that make me laugh are Joe cartoons , happy tree friends, robot chicken, and monty python. I enjoy art of all kinds I can draw, paint, photography and write some what. Im somewhat of a computer geek not a hacker or anything that smart those are the pros Im more of the minor leaguer. I am honest if asked something Ill do my best to tell the truth as I see it. Im willing to admit that Im wrong which is about 60% of the time. Im crystal clear in the shallow end and murky in the deep end. The chances of me cheating on a relationship are nonexistent , just wont happen. Im far from the perfect guy if he exist but I admit that. So if you got this far with out thinking Im a total loser and want to know more just ask im more than willing to answer any questions that you may have. And below is my old generic who am I just because thats who I am too.Where to start, I like to hang with my friends and talk the night away but mostly end up listening. I like laying down looking at the stars It helps me to remind me that my problems are just a tiny and brief thoughts in the grand sceme of things. I like just about anything that has to do with the arts . my fav sport is hockey and am a big Red Wings Fan. Im careful about picking friends and I only have a few but once I call you a friend im very true to you. I tend to hold back until i get a feel for the people around me. Im very open with my friends and tell them almost anything. . i do my best to repay kindness and ignore pettiness. im easy going I don't waste my time or energy hating people life is too short. I like to play in the rain or snowfights when i can get to the snow which is seldom. I belive the journey is more important than the destination and i dont mind if the destionation is forgotten as long as i had fun on the trip. Im single right now and looking. Im 37 have two kids who I have on the weekends.

My Interests

computers, art, hockey, my kids, and having fun

I'd like to meet:

You should be a free thinker not someone that accepts what is fed to you. You should be willing to accept people for who they are and not try to mold them in to something you want. Able to accept that there are different ways of seeing the same thing and no one way is absolute. Understand that my silence is not me trying to be hurtful just my inability to communicate how I feel, not my unwillingness. An open book of contradictions. Some who understands that I dont mean to hurt with my words and will call me on it when I do. Someone who is active likes to bike ride or inline skate. Not looking for an athlete or fitness nut cause im not. Just someone that likes to do stuff out doors that might cause a sweat. Someone comfortable with how they look. As much as it is every mans dream to have a skinny blonde with big breast and a small waist, I prefer someone comfortable with their own skin. Patience would greatly be appreciated cause I can be dense to many things. Passionate to whats important to yourself. You understand that a relationship is something that is never perfect and must be worked on constantly. . Im not looking for the perfect women otherwise I might be forever looking just someone who can be a good friend someone who complements me and I do the same to her. I probably just described someone who is already taken by some lucky guy that might not really know what he has or someone that will never exist. This person is probably just a fiction in some fairy tale where they live happily ever after. But thats what hope is
I looking for someone who is creative, fun, willing to try new things, wild streak but grounded, willing to listen. some one who likes the outdoors but can just hang out at home. some one who likes art musesums as much as a rock concert. Some one to talk to about anything. Some one to snuggle with. Some one who likes to look at the stars on hot nights. Or play in the rain or snowfights in the winter. Honesty is a must. I would rather be hurt with the truth than lied too to save my feelings. Someone who has as much fun walking around san fransico as they do walking on the beach or in muir woods. someone who likes to be part of life not on the sideline watching it go by. someone who deals with there resonsiblitys like an adult but sees the world with kids eyes. who knows to have fun when the oppertunity is presented.

Music:

lots of stuff techno, rock, metal, rap, classical, jazz, swing, pop, and some other stuff. Artist I like Orbital, public enemy, BT, slipknot, disturbed, marylin manson, sheryl crow, michell branch, jewel, air, eminem, cream, greenday, NIN, rage against the machine, everclear, Evanescence, tori amos, yoyo ma. I have over 6000 mp3s so I like a lot.

Movies:

my favorite is The Rocky Horror Picture Show. but you have to see it with a cast preforming in front of the movie. I like any of monty python movies but meaning of life is their best. The Beach is the movie i wish i could visit. circle of friends. star wars the ones with luke in them not the new ones, and of course lord of the rings. i like horror films but they are only enjoyable with someone else. all the gibli films such as spirited away, howls moving castle. i like weird sci fi films like naked lunch, brazil, dark city.

Television:

all the csi, Lost, charmed, hex, medium, numb3rs, both stargates, two and half men, the unit, regenesis, supernatural, drawn together, robot chicken, metalopcalypse, reaper, Heroes, pushing daysies, samatha who, torchwood, dr who, moonlight, medium.

Books:

way to many books to name have to say clive barker is one of my fav's along with the pern series by anne maccaffery. douglas adams, robert asprin, spider robinson, tery brooks,to name a few will read about anyting once. the above i have read several of their books many times. its like going on a vacation with really good friends to places that make your endophines spike

Heroes:

this ones hard not sure I belive in heros. this is what the dictionary say a hero is 1 a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability b : an illustrious warrior c : a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities d : one that shows great courage 2 a : the principal male character in a literary or dramatic work b : the central figure in an event, period, or movement 3 plural usually heroes 4 : an object of extreme admiration and devotion everyone has this to some extent and they all have flaws i would have to say I admire people like gahdi, martin luther king, malcom x, and people like that. people who fight for the betterment of others.

My Blog

november the loneliest time for a person whos single

This has been the first year that i didnt dress up for halloween. just didnt have the time or really the insperation. I did enjoy it though I got to make my daughters costume and take her treating ( d...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Wed, 07 Nov 2007 08:01:00 PST

my happiness vs others

well this last wensday I was up at sparks NV for a bbq rib cook off with an friend of mine. the whole bbq thing really sucked but we were able to find and out door bar that was serving fat tire( ummm!...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 10:02:00 PST

well here is where i stand

ok so its been a while since i have written on here. i am sitting out on my porch of my own place finally no room mate.  just me.  I love the fact that i dont have someone other than myself ...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 09:21:00 PST

im mad your mad why else would you be here

so im sitting here doing what i always do when im alone. I dont know if im feeling lonely per say as im not much of a people person. my new job or the job im at not sure if 4 month is still new or not...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 11:18:00 PST

traveling music please

"... thought Alice, and she went on. "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?""That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat."I don't much care where " sai...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Thu, 05 Oct 2006 05:15:00 PST

something I wrote when I though that tommorow wasnt worth it

THE MAN I AM I don't deserve to be loved how can I hurt another can i live with loss I never shared my feelings I thought I shared my love took you for granted left things undone didn't live to my ...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Tue, 01 Nov 2005 08:31:00 PST

hey all

well I worked on my space a little I like it.  Damn Its pretty sad when all I can think to write is ovious. like if your reading this you wouldnt notice that I changed my space.  FUCK I wish I had a l...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

here we go

ok like since the last time I wrote I had some intresting times and like always I have to be careful what I wish for cause sometimes it comes true. case and point I was sick of my roommate and then s...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

tired of my roommate

well I am having the post party blues right now. I just want to scream. Im bored and have no one to talk to. My roommate is pissing me off. she eating and sharing my food and not buying any. I nee...
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

thank you

hey Id like to thank all who came to my toga party. I had fun and drunk. You are all invited to my winter solice party invites will be posted when I get close to the date.
Posted by Deadgods and Smeagol on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST