"If you think you are beaten, you are. If you think you dare not, you dont. If you'd like to win but think you can't, It's almost certain you wont. Life's battles dont always go To the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later, the man who wins Is the man who thinks he can."
- Walter D. Wintle.
Funny Quotes
Host: This one for Peter Griffin and Tony Randall.
Announcer: The password is "flaming".
Peter: You...
Tony: Actor.
Peter: You...
Tony: Tony?
Peter: You...
Family Guy: Wasted Talent episode
Jim Norton - "It's not rape if she blinks twice for yes"
...."Only in a world gone mad is a lunatic considered insane" - Homer J.Simpson...
Homer Simpson, Guess Whos Coming to Criticize Dinner
---I like pizza,
I like bagels,
I like hot dogs with mustard and beer.,
Ill eat eggplant,
I could even eat a baby deer,
La la la la la la la laaaa,
Whos that baby deer on the lawn there?...
Homer Simpson, singing his version of It's The End of the World as We Know It, byREM -"Leonard's what's-his-name, Herman Munster motorcade, birthday party, cheetos, pogo sticksand lemonade, you symbiotic stupid jerk, stir-fried Flanders, I am talking about you!"
Lenny : How did you get the REM to perform in your garage? Homer : I told them it was for a benefit. They think they are saving the rain forest.
The Stonecutters Song: --Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down? We do! We do.
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do. Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do! We do.
Who robs cave fish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We dooooooooooo.
Homer Simpsons as Henry VIII
I'm Henry the eighth I am,
Henry the eighth, I am I am,
I've been eating since six a.m.
For dessert I'll have dinner again,
My name's synonymous with gluttony,
I'll always eat a turkey or a ham.
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Serious Quotes
Cheif Justice William H. Renhquist - Hustler vs Falwell: "At the heart of the First Amendment is the recognition of the fundamental importance of the free flow of ideas and opinions on matters of public interest and concern. The freedom to speak one's mind, is not only an aspect of individual liberty and thus a good unto itself but also is essential to the common quest for truth and the vitality of society as a whole.'"
Part of the Declaration of Independence
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the consent of the governed, -- That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new guards for their future security -- Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. -- The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States."
"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose."
-Bill Gates
"It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure."
-Bill Gates
"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." Napoleon Bonaparte....
Places to here Homer sing those songs: One , Two
(Right Click, Open in New Window)
Make yourself into a South Park character: South Park Character --Click here!!
Inspirational Quotes
~ Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
~ Defeat is not defeat unless accepted as a reality-in your own mind.
- Bruce Lee
~ Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
~ A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
~ Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
- Al Franken