First: your mother. ....drunkSecond: Dallas Green and Luke Pickett in a foggy and secluded wooded area, with a robot that will help me extract their brains and download their superior musical knowledge to cast level 3 rock star on myself. (this will allow me to play mid-level venues with a 100% chance of rolling saving throws vs. stage fright. Thus letting all the middle aged women blow their money on booze, cigarettes and my merchandise.) I will bring their talents to the dark side. Or make them zombies and tour together.Third: A hot cougar middle aged woman that is loaded with cash and would have me as her trophy "younger guy". In essence, a sugar momma. Then I will procede to marry her and divorce her a year later to get half of her belongings. I'm a dirtbag... I have no defense.