..|..Lost Proffitt..|..

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Heyyyyy, my name Samantha Elizabeth Proffitt, but please call me Sam. Or Samwise. Or S'manth. I don't mind as long as you don't call me Samantha. I FUCKING HATE IT. It should be a name reserved for Chavs and page three girls. Not people like me. But what can you do?
Some things you should know about me:
If I don't talk to you first its not becuase I'm being rude. Believe it or not I'm shy. I work on the general principle, if you want to talk to me, you'll talk to me.
I was given Lust as my deadly sin for a reason.
I am not flirting with your boyfriend. He is just my friend who happens to be a boy. Stop being insecure.
I'm not bisexual or a lesbian. I'm just a bit liberal when drunk.
Don't give me cider. Ever. You'll regret it.
But I wouldn't say no to a double vodka and coke. Or a Dr. Pepper mixed with Apple sours.
If you prefer indian to chinese I can't possibly be your friend.
Its my job to eat the Gherkins out of everyones burgers, not yours. Get over it.
I am skint. All the time. Constantly. If you want me to go with you somehwere, You're going to have to pay. Sorry but its the law :p
I don't do illegal drugs. But if you want to, I'm perfectly happy to keep you company.
I am a lazy fucker. If something requires effort, I'll put in as little as possible.
I wouldn't feed me anything with nuts in if I were you. Unless you want a quick trip to A&E/the mortuary.
I speak with a slightly northern twang. Blame it on my parents if you want but don't take the piss. It really winds me up.
I know I have bad taste in guys. You don't need to tell me.
And finally, don't let me anywhere near a Sega Master System/ MegaDrive. I'll never come off it again!
Last year was fucking dark. So I am making it your mission to make it prime. You're doing a good job so far.