Sean Martin - ProfilesArchive

About Me

WERE YOU AWARE THAT SEAN MARTIN...
...once drank fifteen cans of beer and clumb a ladder to the roof of a three story building with another beer can clinched between his teeth?
...built the first robot to qualify for a boat loan?
...has fired two guns whilst jumping through the air and going, "Aghhh!"?
...has never been on an airplane?
...met porn star Briana Banks in Downtown Disney Land at the tender age of fourteen?
...has consumed a 41oz. bag of Swedish Fish in one sitting on several occasions?
...was born twenty-two inches in length (height for infants) at birth, and later disappointed both his parents and pediatricians by growing up two feet shorter than expected?
...once scolded Ingrid Newkirk's unscrupulous methods of social reform so harshly that she suffered irreparable damage to her retina from crying so much?
...has driven a car only twice?
...has two adult caterpillars for eyebrows?
...called rapper 50cent a "mark-ass bitch" and lived to write about it on the internet?
...once placed thirty marshmellows in his mouth and still said, "fuzzy bunny"?
...has teamed up with fellow namesake, Sean "Diddy" Combes on a number of charities to fight the most serious disease affecting our communities, "bitch-assness"?
...is just an ex-con trying to fly right and get his cat back?
WERE YOU EVEN AWARE OF IT?!

My Interests

Music
Cryptozoology
Futurism
Zombies
Vegan eats
NPR
Cheap whiskey
Dancin'
Bike ridin'

Archetypes:
-Man vs. Machine
-Living men vs. Undead men
-All humans vs. All animals
-Slacker vs. Responsibility
-Single mom vs. Dating
-Rec center vs. Developers
-A guy walks into a bar...
-...that's what she said.

I'd like to meet:

Monsters, animals, pedestrians, lesbians, veterinarians, vegetarians, Aquarians, whomever directed that great video for Les Savy Fav's "The Equestrian", last but not least; Levon Theremin.

Music:

Built to Spill
Stephen Malkmus
David Bowie
The Kinks
The Pixies
Spoon
Cursive
The Clash
King Missile
The Arcade Fire
Coachwhips
Grandaddy
Les Savy Fav
Big Black
Ministry
Elliott Smith
Dick Dale
Nine Inch Nails
The Mummies
The Specials

Movies:

Dawn of the Dead ('78)
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
The American Astronaut
China Town
Shaun of the Dead
The Corporation
Zeitgeist
Night of the Demons 2
Death Race 2000
Manufacturing Consent
Battle Royale
That Thing You Do!

Television:

Futurama
The Venture Brothers
Cheaters
The Boondocks
The Mighty Boosh
Spaced

Books:

Kurt Vonnegut
Christopher Hitchens
Chuck Palahniuk
William Gibson
Ayn Rand
Michael Shermer

Heroes:

Ted Haggart

My Blog

Zzzzz... Coachella 2008zzzz...

Well, Coachella announced the bill for this year and it doesn't look so great. Roger Waters is headlining playing "The Dark Side of the Moon". Gag me with a spoon. This is just like Madonna, Tool, Rag...
Posted by Sean Martin on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:51:00 PST

Don’t go there with Sean Kingston

I've been watching a lot of Degrassi-The Next Generation lately. For a couple weeks there were marathons every day and the amount of time I spent catching up with Craig, Liberty, Paige and all the res...
Posted by Sean Martin on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 12:18:00 PST

The single greatest thing I’ve ever seen on screen

FIRE BREATHING BEAR!!! ...
Posted by Sean Martin on Tue, 27 Nov 2007 09:06:00 PST

On the subject of gun control, left vs. right, and of course, THE NUGE

Last week, one of Chelsea's relatives sent out an email challenging anyone to argue the point made by conservative rock n roller, Ted Nugent. He attached a video of a recent interview with Nugent and ...
Posted by Sean Martin on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 10:04:00 PST

what the fuck?! part 2

This guy in Brooklyn (Daniel) recently had his bike wheels stolen right outside his apartment. The whole incident was caught on tape. It didn't bring about an arrest or even an i.d. on the dude. Danie...
Posted by Sean Martin on Sat, 30 Jun 2007 04:30:00 PST

Fun survey provided by the Church of Satan

Gee, golly! I'm sure a fan of those long surveys full of arbitrary and self-congratulating statements that some feel obligated to post as a bulletin. The fact that you took the time to fill it out is ...
Posted by Sean Martin on Mon, 25 Jun 2007 11:49:00 PST

what the fuck?!

someone just stole the front wheel from my bike. it was a quick release so it's my fault for not locking it. i'm also complaining about this on the internet so that makes it way worse. why would anyon...
Posted by Sean Martin on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:11:00 PST

i hit the city, and i lost my band

cafe gratitude provided the best meal i've had in recent memory. all raw food and mostly vegan. there's a reverse osmosis water filter that pumps throughout the building. the water in the glasses is t...
Posted by Sean Martin on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 07:29:00 PST

dope-ass monster flash!

spring heeled jack cthulhu bogeyman (yeah, it sounds lame but read it. shit's interestin')gorgon kappa yokai...
Posted by Sean Martin on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 01:08:00 PST

i am five inches taller than r&b singer sisqo

http://www.bored.com/sizematcher/index.php
Posted by Sean Martin on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 03:32:00 PST