Fully Insured profile picture

Fully Insured

I am here for Serious Relationships

About Me

Fully Insured is a sketch comedy group from different parts of Canada. Canada is a large country where I now live. I'm a six-foot-four, blonde, blue-eyed firefighter from Tungpu, China. My father was Chinese and my mother was Chilean and my father was Irish. I only keep as many socks as I will use in a week. You are a tall, gorgeous, hyper-educated, red-haired robot woman programmed to do as you please. You have seven boyfriends and a lunchbox collection. Together we will bend streetsigns. Call me!

My Interests

Field Wrestling, The Jersey Milk Wafers, The Meridian Falls Mattress Exchange, Taco Emergency, Pang Xiao The Fanged Hermaphrodite Contortionist, Spit And Polish, Teen Beat, The Unbearable Ennui Of Being, Giant Invisible Robot, Chris Martin's Cavalcade of Feelings, Ask The Pituitary Gland, The Terrifying Jelly Cabinet Of Mrs. Rickles, Hurl The Shale At Grandpa, Hi-Octane Foot Rub, Coldplay, Robot Women, humidity.

I'd like to meet:

Robot Women

Music:

New Chamber Baroque Break Beat, Gangsta Emo, Extreme Pan Flute, Christian Death Metal, Disney Country, Ambient Continuous Flushing, and the Muzak version of the Unplugged version of Layla.

Movies:

KUNG FU: The Master Says I Get To Slap You ACTION: Dirty Buddies 2 HORROR: The Hills Have Carcinogenic Pollutants ROM COM: There's Something About Your Hygiene SCI-FI: Star Wars Episode Nine: Abbot And Costello Meet Darth Piggy THRILLER: The Constant Wet Blanket SCREWBALL: National Lampoon's Hilarious College Hijinks DOCUMENTARY: Sweat Shops Are Not Saunas

Television:

Prison Lunch, The O.D., CSI: Thunder Bay, Law And Order: Hooker Patrol, NYPD Blue: NJPD Blue, Emergency Rumpus Room, America's Next Top Felon.

Books:

Buy My Books And Videos by Deepak Chopra; How To Be The Youest You You Ever Thought You Could Be You by Dr. Phil; If You Can Stand The Sound Of My Voice, You're Half-Way There by Caroline Myss; Chicken Soup For The Nihilist Soul by the Zany Chicken Soup Crew; The Erotic Adventures Of Jay Leno's Chin by Dick Hardman.

Heroes:

The Bionic Woman

My Blog

My new Job at Asshole Mart

Dear Joyce,I can't begin to explain how I love this new job! So let me begin by explaining that you were 100% right to force me off my ass and push me into Asshole Mart to get that application. After ...
Posted by Fully Insured on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 06:41:00 PST

I've Had It With All These Teen Pop Sensations!

Posted by Jayson (as a favour) Jesus!  Will somebody give those poor chumps down at the Starmaker Factory a goddamned day off?  They've been working right through the holidays to churn out w...
Posted by Fully Insured on Fri, 25 Aug 2006 01:57:00 PST

I Think We Need To Have A Little Chat.

Posted by Jayson Here's the thing.  When Late Last Night finally turns around and looks you square in the eye and you realize that you've actually been hollering down the street at Early This Mor...
Posted by Fully Insured on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 03:19:00 PST

Unlike a Six-Headed Squid, We Have Only Five Heads

Posted by Jayson Fully Insured is a sketch comedy group headquartered in London, Ontario.  Angry yes, but homicidal?  Not so you'd notice.  Timely material with no expiry date...li...
Posted by Fully Insured on Mon, 21 Aug 2006 02:51:00 PST