Brian

Do you think that there are emo kids who instead of being really into art are really into math? Me neither..................................................... .......If i had a super power it would definitely be mind control. Cuz who argues with mind control..................................................... ................If I were a candy bar I would be a snickers because I am full of delicious peanuts nugget and caramel and covered in chocolate. Lastly I am covered by a wrapper that says snickers on it. This is not a metaphor.................................................... .........If i could go back in time I would go to 1984 to stop marty from testing doc's time machine delorean. That way I would save marty the trouble of trying to harness the power of 31 thousand jigga watts to go back to 1984. Either that or mug a caveman..................................................... ........................................My favorite card is a four of clubs because it is black and has a four on it.......................................................... .............................................If i were a magician I would pull a better job out of a hat......................................................... ....I love a good clown car. Cuz How do they do that?....................................................... .............................My favorite little rascal was moe because he always hits larry and curly. Shemp sucks and deserves to die by getting poked in the eyes........................................................ ................................If you trick-or-treat in august no one has any candy....................................................... .............................Why did the majority of late eightities to early nineties kids shows revolve around the eating of pizza with really sloppy cheeze on it ............................................................ ..........................................i wanna see a cat chase a dog cuz thats some good irony....................................................... ...................................I think using catch phrases is not da bomb or hot......................................................... ...........................................................I 'm suprised Germany wasn't in the cival war cuz they love a good fight....................................................... .............................................people who write costume on a tee shirt for halloween think they are creative. but it turns out that they are not creative because a white tee shirt isn't a costume at all. some people should be in jail........................................................ ............................................................ ..............I'm suprised that gopher from caddyshack hasn't gotten more acting jobs. Because he was excellent in caddyshack. He was alright in caddyshack 2 i guess. Dan Akroyd can lick my butt........................................................ ............................................................ ....I was always told not to wrestle in the moonbounce but i did it anyway. take that corporate america..................................................... ............................................................ .................................If your drop dead gorgeous and everyone in the world could see u it would only be u and blind people left to burry the dead........................................................ ............................................................ You can light farts on fire but i find jokes are better when they aren't on fire........................................................ ............................................................ .making the perfect smore is as easy as having someone else make them for u........................................................... ...............................................hot air balloons are planes but instead of wings they have a balloon..................................................... ............................................................ .................if you are an enthusiest is it necessary to have a handle bar mustache and wear a berret. Man i love painting war of 1812 figurines................................................... ............................................................ ......If i got stabbed i'd be pissed...................................................... ..........................................................cl owns always do the exact opposite of what they are supposed to do. Don't wear big shoes. Don't have a rainbow afro. Don't kill my dog. Don't have sex with that hole in the wall. If all clowns died it would be one funny funeral. But how do u close a coffin with such enormous shoes coming out of it.......................................................... ...................................................Have you ever met a hatter who is not mad? God Damn it Disney...................................................... .......................If stand up comedians had eyes in the backs of their heads, all they could see is a brick wall........................................................ .................I have a backscratcher because i don't have any friends..................................................... ..........................Wile E. Cayote always used acme products to try to trap the roadrunner. I would have used a different company after so many backfires. Plus he never harnessed the power of diplomacy with the roadrunner. But you can't work things out when you don't talk and the other guy just says meep meep........................................................ ..........................If I was on a gameshow i'd lose........................................................ ....Aunt Jemmimah only cooked pancakes. She was a very one dimensional chef........................................................ ............................Broccoli gets a bad rap thanks to nickelodeon. And pizza is overly glorified. Unless it's covered in slime GROSS!!!!!!!!!!............................................. .............................................Why don't bombers in movies use wires that are all the same colors...................................................... .........snapple caps are bullshit.................................................... .............................If I was the king of England You would always know where to find me.......................................................... ...................Phish should get back together and have a tour where they only play heavry metal. Just to piss off hippie wannabes.................................................... .................................If your name is John Smith you are destined to be mediocre.................................................... .........................................Slip N' Slides can also be called Backyard Ruiners. I still have a 36x4 stretch of mud in my backyard.................................................... ..............................................Still waitin on that flying car. Good job science fiction..................................................... .......................................I prefer big bubble wrap to little bubble wrap because of it's better packing ability..................................................... .....................................Why in some movies do laser guns run out of ammo. IT'S A LASER. Well what do I know laser guns haven't been invented yet......................................................... .............................Nice vocabulary Pokemon. Except Meoth....................................................... ................................cats love meow mix but hate people...................................................... .......beekeeper were real funny suits, too bad it doesn't protect them from actually being beekeepers, I said BEE ing......................................................... ........................If you are a dunce you can also be a cheerleader, just think about it for a second...................................................... ..........................If Italy is a boot it's about to kick spain's ass any day now, geography jokes suck........................................................ ............................According to my local ice cream truck clowns enjoy eating garbage, I want a screwball................................................... ...............you finally got that dunce joke didn't ya, pointy hat......................................................... ....................I like to waste time on stupid stuff nobody will ever read and if they do they won't get because my jokes are all to rediculous for the average depressed myspace user who uses the website as a showcase to show how many friends they have. No one who is reading this has ever blocked a friend request. And this is the reason global warming is happening, or at least the war in iraq.