I've been on and off anorexic for ten years and after an attempt at recovery that left me more disgusted with my body and myself than I think I'd ever been in my life, I'm back to watching what I eat and working out. I am much happier this way. I'm basically just looking for a support group of people who know what this is like and who really don't want to recover.
.*Eating Disorder Survey*.
General
Age?: 23
Height?: 5'2"
Weight?: 109
Lowest Weight?: 97
Highest Weight?: 125
What weight do you want to weigh?: 97-103
What eating disorder do you have?: anorexia
In Depth
How many calories do you eat in a day, on average?: 100-1000 lately. It varies :-..
Do you throw up your food on occasion?: no
Do you want to look like a supermodel/actress?: no, just a skinnier, prettier version of me
Are you in some sort of extracurricular sport, ie soccer or track?: I am a career woman now.
Has anyone ever teased you about your weight?: yes
Have you ever fasted? If so, for how long?: Probably about once I month I don't eat for two or three days at a time.
Do you take laxatives to get rid of food/calories?: no
Are you 'inspired' by models/actresses?: no
Have you ever been hospitalised for your ED?: yes
Have you ever ingested Ipecac to induce vomiting?: no
Have you ever tried to recover from your eating disorder?: yes and it basically made me more miserable.
Body Image Q's
Do you constantly see yourself as fat, even though others say you are not?: yes
What part of your body would you change?: my stomach, my love handles, pretty much everything from my waist down.
On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you with your body?: 4
Do you judge your value/merit solely on your weight/body?: no but I have my days
Because of your body apperance/weight, have you become severely depressed?: I have in the past, but I can honestly say no, not now.
Do you constantly compare your bodies to supermodels/actresses?: More like other people I see in my daily life.
Health/Food
Do you think you eat healthy enough?: I could always do better.
Are you morbidly afraid to eat carbs?: No, but I've noticed lately that on rare occasion that I eat pasta, I get bloaty.
Fat grams?: Not really
Calories?: Yes
Are you often tired/fatigued?: Yes
Do you feel more energised after eating food?: No
Do you eat meat?: On occasion
Do you eat your food in a certain way? ie cut it up into small pieces, etc.: Small pieces all the way... and I try to drink sips of water between bites.
Do people tell you you look sick or famished?: No
Have you ever thrown up blood?: Yes
Is your heart bpm above 49?: Yes
Do you have fainting spells from lack of eating?: No
Other Stuff
Do you think the media is at fault for the prevalence of eating disorders?: The media can't be blamed entirely as there are more immediate socio-environmental factors to consider.
What's your opinion of Pro-Ana?: I don't encourage people to develop eating disorders, but I don't necessarily encourage recovery, either.
Do you have any other mental disorders? ie Bipolar, BDD, etc.: I've been depressed, and now I am battling some anxiety issues.
What's your favourite food to eat?: Granny smmith or mac apples, and I really love oatmeal.
Favourite drink?: Water, Tazo passion tea, or diet coke/pepsi
Do you often wish you didn't have an ED?: No
Do you want to recover?: No
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