It isn't until you fuck up royally, lose everything including yourself, that you will find out who ultimately stands by your side, including yourself. Sometimes fucking up and losing everything will lead you to finding everything you wanted and needed. I've learned to love and accept myself, and my imperfections, and roll with it. I've taken alot of punches in my life, and feel sometimes like I was dealt a shitty hand, but it all came down to how I dealt with it. I pretty much started from nothing, built myself into something which included providing my daughters and I with ANY and EVERYTHING we ever wanted - to losing EVERYTHING. I guess there was more to life than what my eyes were allowing me to see at the time. And I'm slowly but surely rebuilding my daughters' and my life back together. All I can say, is that I went through a very rough realization period as a result of my weakness from a really hard and abusive past. And my behavior this past year was a direct result of just that and only temporary. People who are open - minded can somewhat understand, and try to empathize. Those who are closed - minded individuals judge since they havn't experienced their own phoenix process yet. Some never do and live a very shallow, emotionless life. I prefer my life. People always told me I would make it big. Oh I will! Just in a way no one ever imagined.
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Thelma and Louise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq-Tgu4510w