Joe Daddy

I'd like to meet:

Reverend Maynard, Eric Clapton, Willie Nelson, and Eva Langoria Most of all CHUCK NORRIS............. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris...............Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.............There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live............Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.............Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits............Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs..............Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding............Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.............There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist............When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down............Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head..........Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush...........There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.............Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink...........Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is...........Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile...........Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door............Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost...........Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.............Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship........... Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO............On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.............Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris............Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!..........In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe............Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth...........Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage........... Chuck Norris neither melts in your mouth nor in your hand. He shreds your trachea before ravaging your soul with a combination of chocolate, whickey, roundhouse kicks and death. Oh, and pain. Lots of pain...........

Music:

Alternative Rock, and Classic Rock

Movies:

Skateboarding Dog

Television:

Comedy Central

Books:

Stephen King

Heroes:

Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Eddie Vetter, Chris Farley, Richard Prior, Bill Murray, Al Pacino, Will Ferrel and my grandpa Eischen.