I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural post modern deconstructionist politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded; I’ve been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing; I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life, a cutting-edge state-of-the-art by-costal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I’m new-wave but I’m old-school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hotwired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer, I'm voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database my database is in cyberspace so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive. Behind the 8 ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope. I’m on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed, I’ve got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range, ballistic missionary. A streetwise smart bomb, a top gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing Bigfoot slam dunk rain maker with a proactive outreach. I'm a raging work-aholic, a working rage-aholic, out of rehab and in denial. I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dump me down ‘cause I’m tireless and I’m wireless. I’m an alpha male on beta blockers. I’m a non believer and an over achiever, laid back but fashion forward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance, super sized, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready and built to last. I’m a hands on foot loose knee jerk head case, prematurely post traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing; a supportive bonding nurturing primary caregiver. My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, capitol intensive, user friendly and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the “F†word in my email and the soft ware on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall, I bought a mini van at a mega store, I eat fast food in the slow lane, I’m toll free bite sized, ready to wear and I come in all sizes. A fully equip, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre washed, pre cooked, pre heated, pre screened, pre approved, pre packaged, post dated, freeze dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked locked and ready to rock, rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride the tide, I got glide in my stride. Driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, waling and winning. I don’t snooze so I don’t loose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hanging in, there ain’t no doubt, and I’m hanging tough, over and out.
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