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MY BACKGROUND:
Growing up in the arctic circle was tough, but I feel it prepared me for the extreme and deadly training I received at the hands of the monks of northern China when I was ten years old. After fighting my way out of the temple bare-handed at age fourteen I found myself a wanderer. Unfortunately, my wandering was cut short by some Himalayan bandits who poisoned me with a vile mind-altering serum.
I awoke naked and penniless behind a pub in southern Ireland. The poison had caused me to completely forget all previous language. While learning to speak again, I began a career as a bare-knuckle boxer. Having been trained in 4 of the 7 deadly arts I quickly became the subject of many fixed fights and dubious gambling plots. Through these shady connections, I ended up joining the IRA's elite unit of freedom fighters. Soon I was England's most wanted criminal. With several James Bond wanna-be's lurking in my every shadow, I quickly became irritated and annoyed. Then after seeing my first Chuck Norris movie I realized what I needed to do. I went ahead and hunted down and dispatched the entire British Secret Service then moved to Texas to be a Ranger.
Once in the United States, I felt the need to educate myself since I was eighteen. So I hacked into Harvard's mainframe and enrolled myself. After a year I had my Bachelor's, but found the tutelage at the Ivy League school to be lacking. So I decided to attend Cal State San Bernardino to study under the Grand Masters of I/O Psychology. Near graduation I was approached by the government of the County of Riverside whom offered me a position in Human Resources. I humbly accepted this most important station--I really felt that the most exciting part of my life was about to begin!