A Real Loser... - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I am trying to have an authentic existence. It isn't easy. I don't buy into all the things people buy into to make themselves feel good. Religion, spirituality, things that have no interest for me. It's pragmatic, if it works for you, that's all that one can expect. I consider myself dead already in certain respects. I am not that complicated, yet still I am not understood. I know and have seen those care for you most are just as likely to hurt you. And it doesn't have to be dramatic, like major abuse or this sort of thing. Ueseless. Negative pessimist, which doesn't cancel out, to my everlasting chagrin. Not funny, except to me. Life just seems so arbitrary, in an existential way. I just gave up on life a long way back. I still show up for things and act normal, keep up appearances, but that's all it is. I really would like to turn things around but I don't think I can do it myself. Motivation alone is beyond me. Is it all in my head? Yes. Just finding out it all is pointless, not entirely, just that there is no real destination, just the path itself. A very ambivalent personality, especially politically. Mostly because I read so much. But I end up with a good deal more questions than answers. I would be described as a conservative democrat. I am not now a registered independent, but see this as a distinct possibility in the future. But I feel very comfortable and confident because I consider myself a little more informed than the average citizen. If I got my shit together I feel I could be a force to be reckoned with. I would be in sympathy with many basic feminist ideas. I feel women should be treated equally on every level. I believe family values should be taken out of the political realm, it's absurd to think people who really care about others would contravene an important insitiution like the family. Only a fool could see what these societal organizations do for our civilization. I think I am running out of room. In the end I am still just a pathetic guy who can't get his shit together and is Constantly intimidated by others. I would walk over my grandmother for a little of that precious self-esteem that other fuckers seem to possess in abundance........ MyGen Profile Generator

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Disorganized and inept individuals. Rasputin. A holy roller. Liberace. They didn't know he was gay! For a while anyways.... People with a level head. Intellectually honest folks, people who know the world. Outgoing folks who don't act, as in ACT, but are just themeselves. The problem with that statement is that everyone and their momma say the same thing, so I don't like saying it. But it's true. I obviously don't write these profile statements to get people interested in me. Maybe I should. Most of the people I spend my time with are very positive and uplifting individuals. Not by accident. I don't dig people like me. Weird.

My Blog

junk bonds arent even mentioned............

The book I finished about Mike Milken was absolutely fascinating. Reading books about extensive business/financial transactions can be daunting or least disorienting. I find myself just trying to get ...
Posted by on Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:06:00 GMT

more caca.......

I already know I am a bad person. I know it in my heart. I say it because it maybe can dissuade people from getting to me. I don't know what to say. I have tried a few times over the years to be mysel...
Posted by on Sat, 31 May 2008 22:07:00 GMT

misunderstood until the bitter fucking end of godamned fucking time........

Yeah. So much to say. I want to speak directly people, but it never works out where everything I say is said and understood. It never happens. People are going to do their own things, and pretend they...
Posted by on Sat, 31 May 2008 20:41:00 GMT

former POW

I want to write a story that's been floating around in my head for some time. But it is not a for sure thing. I don't think anyone would be interested. I mean it's about WWII, Korea, and Vietnam. So i...
Posted by on Tue, 27 May 2008 20:31:00 GMT

fugitive, first word that came to mind...

So sad today. Can't put my finger on it. Just an overarching sense of uselessness. I guess I really am negative! I am fighting it without much success. I feel the few relationships I have are stuck an...
Posted by on Sat, 24 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

damn yankees

Why am I such a loser? Why can't I overcome this feeling? I know in my heart I am not going to go far. I have never understood people that have the ability to believe in themselves. This particular di...
Posted by on Thu, 22 May 2008 13:09:00 GMT

out of context.........................

One of these days I gotta tell you guys about my recent trips to Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City). It was wild. Still a helluva town. The communists never really put down roots here. Just kind of left it alo...
Posted by on Wed, 21 May 2008 17:19:00 GMT

toll roads to jerusalem

I don't know why people are tripping about not getting Hillary. Look at their voting records, Obama/Clinton vote like 95% the same, according to Congressional Quarterly. And McCain has enough tro...
Posted by on Wed, 21 May 2008 09:28:00 GMT

googol100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000

Faggots, man. They're everywhere. Watch out. All the stereotypes are true. Even the ones that don't sound right to rational folks (aka 'The Minority').
Posted by on Tue, 20 May 2008 09:34:00 GMT

senator-for-life EMK 1962-2008?

Damn Ted Kennedy is in trouble. It don't look good. But I will wait and see. No point making predictions at this point, too many variables. He's a good guy. I hope he comes through all right.
Posted by on Tue, 20 May 2008 00:17:00 GMT