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"So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change, I'm going to change. This is the last of this sort of thing. I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you; the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine-to-five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die."
It's All About Me
I write blogs. A lot of blogs. Over 1000 of them. You should read some. Here are some you might enjoy:
Bad at math.
A phone message from a douche. bag
I'm proud of my parallel parking under pressure.
Post-Racial Blog number 1.
Free fashion advice for the ladies.
Post-Racial Blog number 2.
Which is worse? Pig farming or Katrina rescue?
The struggle to be 'cool'.
"In India, we call them 'monkey'."
Called out by my wife for blog dishonesty.
A collection of anti-arena rants.
Jessica Biel is a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that).
Jessica Biel is still a lesbian, but Hillary lies.
I'm old!
What kind of pervert am I?
Al Gore is full of shit.
The Pope is full of shit.
I'm full of shit.
Personal hygiene blog.
Questions answered.
Some criticism of the Likud-niks.
Stochastic blog.
A note about cleavage.
Energy woes.
Father issues.
My Big Fat John Corbett.
Hot chicks with douchebags.
Cocaine breathalyzer.
The 70s were awesome.
Tagged.
Defending Britney Spears.
Oprah Winfrey v. James Frey.
Roe v. Wade anniversary.
My dog turned rabbit.
My legal career in a single cartoon panel.
What is it about the Jews that I love and fear?
The NFL and NASCAR.
Kenyon was fun.
Jose Padilla.
Why colleges must be allowed to consider race.
Book Talk
In the comments, Bob McKenzie calls me a douche
Team Karen
New (b)logrithm
You have to read this.
None of the above
Republicans in D.C. laugh about 'values voters'
We will never leave Iraq.
Maybe the military that fought the war, lost the war
