I'm True Beauty Inside & Out. Not Many Can Handle That....
♥ I Dont Cry On The Outside ... Anymore. ♥
The urge to run, the restlessness. The heart of stone I sometimes get. The things I've done for foolish pride. The me that's never satisfied. The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see... "THAT'S ME".
"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that loving doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth."
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest & it opens your heart & it means that someone can get inside you & mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, & then your life isn't your own any more. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out & leaves you crying in the darkness, working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets inside you & rips you apart pain. I hate love."
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.
Promise Yourself-To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
Juss so everyone knows, I leave my computer on 24/7, and my browser open. So it always says im online but alotta the time im AFK, so if u message me and I dont reply, dont take it personally, Im juss not at the computer or im doin a million other things too!! I always respond when I get back on, or if I am on and actually surfin myspace I respond pretty fast.
Im a 28 yr old divorced Native American/Hungarian female. I am a full time mother to 4 beautiful little boys. Ages 10, 6, 5, & 2. Im a Pisces/Aries & believe very much in Astrology. The real stuff anyways. I have a good heart & very strong beliefs & morals that I stand behind 100% , I've had a rather ruff life & Im just trying to bounce back & Better my life for my kids & myself. If you can get past my defenses I am a affectionate, passionate, giving & love driven person. But I can also be hateful, self absorbed, angry & bitter as well... gotta love those walls! With all the improvements I try to make there really isnt ever room in my life for a relationship, But here lately I've decided to give it a try anyways. As long as they can understand that My plate is seriously full. I would also like to make a few TRUE friends... Tho theyd have to be the type that understands im not gonna be up their ass all the time & dont want them up mine.. sounds mean I know but im a very loner type person with a lot goin on in my life. ...Im also a very jaded person, who dont expect much from people, & that way is never dissapointed... But I have some hope that there are better people out there. & that I might find them. Hope is all we really have in the end...
I have social anxiety..I pick everyone apart and know exactly what i want and yet I dont know what im looking for..I'm scared to death of relationships but I want to be loved .. and love in return. i have a serious complex... I'm too damn oblivious to everything so Im sure i will pass up love when it does come around..Ill probably shoo it away thinking it wont work out or its not good enuff, or miss out in sum other way... ill pass up happiness cuz im afraid to take chances cuz once i have something I sit and count the millions of ways i could lose it and wonder which it will be and when. I always worry myself sick when im in a relationship, and ill take what i do have for granted and end up running b4 they can run first.
I am someone that definitely believes in fate ("Everything happens for a reason") & in karma ("What goes around, comes around", "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", "You reap what you sew") or however you want to say them...
Once I realized that the word "believe" has killed more people in the world than any other word known to man, I stopped believing in anything except truth. I always try to keep an open mind, and as long as other people's beliefs or opinions aren't forced upon me, or go against the good or progression of mankind, I will continue to respect them, even if i dont their opinions. "The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge." "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." Really I'm a very honest person...I don't believe in God, or the devil, heaven, hell or purgatory, but I still believe that you can sell your soul and I refuse to do it.
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
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Created by Crazyprofile.com
Your Birthdate: March 19
You are resilient, and no doubt your resilience has already been tested.
You've had some difficult experiences in your life, but you are wise from them.
Having had to grow up quickly, you tend to discount the advice of others.
You tend to be a loner, having learned that the only person you can depend on is yourself.
Your strength: Well developed stability and confidence
Your weakness: Suspicion of others
Your power color: Eggplant
Your power symbol: Spade
Your power month: October What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
Get your own Family Sticker Maker & MySpace Layouts .
Sane Pills:
Will cause you to get a song stuck in your head for over a day
'What effect do you have on people?' at QuizGalaxy.com
Video's Of Me My Friend Made...
Mommy, don't you cry now and Daddy don't you weep. I want to whisper something before I go to sleep. I know that when I came here I looked perfect in every way. And you were so proud, Daddy; when you held me on that day. And Mommy, when you kissed me and wrapped me up so tight, I knew that I belonged here and everything was right. But then I stopped talking and began to slip away, I saw your worried faces as you knelt by me to pray. And Daddy, I always notice how you wipe away a tear, When you watch the other children as they run and laugh and cheer. I may not be able to tell you how much I love you so, Or even show you how I feel and what I really know. But when you hold me, Mommy, at night when all is still, I feel the love you have for me and I know that all is well. And Daddy, when you take me to the park to run and play I know that you still love me though the words I cannot say. I want to tell you something before I go to sleep. It may be sort of direct and you may not understand, I know that I am not that little child that you and Daddy planned. But I love you both so very much and I know you love me too, And if I could only speak my heart, you would feel my love for you. I know the future is unknown and you will always have to be, The ones who love and listen and take good care of me. I know that you are frightened and you shed so many tears, And if I could I'd wipe them dry and take away your fears. So Mommy, don't you cry now and Daddy please don't weep. I want to say…I love you both, before I go to sleep.
-------------------Girls----------------------
--------------are like apples----------------
----------on trees. The best ones----------
---------are at the top of the tree.---------
-------The boys dont want to reach--------
-----for the good ones because they-------
--are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
---Instead, they get the rotten apples-----
---from the ground that arent as good, ---
---but easy. So the apples up top think---
----something wrong w/ them when in----
-----reality they're amazing. They just----
------have to wait for the right boy to-----
---------come along, the one who's----------
------------- brave enough to---------------
------------------climb all--------------------
------------------the way--------------------
-----------------to the top-------------------
----------------of the tree.------------------
My Newest Pics....
Death is a woman whose beauty pulls your soul out of your eyes.
So beware of beautifully cold women.